Life-ing it up...

Don't do stuff for me if only to take a high moral standpoint later. Don't rub it on me that you do stuff for me.  No, I do not have it easier than you.  No, I'm not suggesting that you do either.  Understand this: we have different lives. Though we are together, we have completely distinct ideas and hopes about what our lives should be. Freedom. That concept is completely non-existent from decision making in our day-to-day life.  That night you said, 'I love you more than I love her.' I don't know that... I could never quantify it like that. The fact, however, is that today if I do not have the guts to walk away from everything, to start on my bohemian ideal life is because she is my anchor point. The only thing making me hope that this life could be better, might turn out better than my idyllic dreams — not you, not my parents. Yet, if this becomes your reckoner to measure my love for you, I can only say it is wrong. Also, I do not know and neither do I have a...

If you know me, you know that I devour books. I will not just read but become that typical book lover of the memes — the one who becomes one with the universe of the plot. I feel bad/glad for the characters and mirror the general mood of the title I'm reading.  Oh, the jokes that have been cracked because of this. Cousins, friends, husband — none have spared me. I, on the other hand, have remained blissfully incorrigible.  Since the intensity level is off the charts, so are the sudden moments of pure appreciation. Whenever I read something I absolutely identify with in that state of mind, I write it down in the nearest available space, read - offhand places. So that many diaries, journals, and notebooks carried these bits of literary inspirations. The best part is stumbling upon them on a random day.  Oh, the joy of reading a beautiful thought or a loved quote. It's like experiencing the pleasure of reading a good book all over again. 'Pointless, needless suffering and p...

'I'll go take a shower.' 'Time for a shower!' 'I need a shower.' How I wish, I could say all these and mean it. That it factually happens and does take place after I have said it. Well, no luck there though I still do say it a lot, and text it a lot, like in a chat, casual conversations, etc. You see, it has got a nice ring to it rather than saying, 'I'll go take a bucket bath.'  Erm, that is like, unromantic to the core. However, is it even possible to say and mean this fabulous sentence in this city. Think about it. (I did, in the vast time I had during lockdown) No, really, just settle down and think. Because, let me tell you plain and simple, it is simply, no es posible . According to my observations, (my really minute and diligent observations) by the time you are up and so is the sun, the fabulous sentence in question becomes untenable. Normal people like you and me who dream of standing under the cool stream of the shower to wash down...

Do you remember the lines, 'What is this life if full of care, We have no time to stand and stare...' ? Chances are, most of us do and the thought bubble coming up in everyone's head says, 'Yeah, right. But where's the time?' Well, my fellow sufferers of the urban-work-at-home-mom-choc-a-bloc-busy-busy life, there's one panacea of troubles I could suggest. Meet Calvin from 'Calvin and Hobbes' , oh! you couldn't find another darling to put all your worries and frustrations to rest (just count on his parents, they'll handle it just fine). Over the years, of reading his strips I have now graduated to books of him and every night before going to bed I treat myself to a little dose of him and I sleep with a smile that takes care of a pleasant morning the next day. This nightcap includes my husband as well while our very own 'Calvin incarnate' sleeps like an angel. Not to forget, his philosophies are mind-numbingly thought provoca...

The drive was so smooth that five hours on the road didn't nearly feel as exhaustive as a commute from Dwarka to CP. I've said it once and I'll say it again, highways in Rajasthan are a dream to drive, we paid Rs 480 worth of toll tax (round trip) and it was worth every single paisa and more. Now, our road trips these days are still about the drive but in the end, more about resort relaxation and the whole package within the resort than the city or town of our destination. With a boisterous 2-yr-old this is the most fun and safe bet, not to mention the fact that it is easier to just laze around than having to run off sightseeing. As much as we love exploring forts and monuments, with a toddler constantly tugging at your patience, it's not a good idea. So, we settled for heritage resorts. Clever, clever, us! Oh and let me mention, M has only one condition no matter where we take a trip — swimming pool! The one at Lebua Lodge had was so good, clean, and totally doabl...

Phew! 5 days, 1500 km+, one Maruti Suzuki Esteem, 5 adults, one 11-month-old baby, and the wickedly barren and beautiful Rajasthan—that was one of the best weeks of my life. (This post was lying in my draft folder forever, trip date is October 2012). The highlights of the trip: I was the navigator, and this was before Google Maps was all the rage; school friends of S accompanied us, they were super fun, and did I mention that spirited 11-month-old baby girl. Our road trip started from Delhi to Jaipur-Ajmer-Pushkar-Jodhpur-Bikaner and back. Those were the days, when a trip meant enjoying it and not restlessly clicking pics and uploading them, I actually have very few pics of that trip by today's standard but I'll tell you this, that was a very memorable trip. I mean, we still remember every day and moment of that vacation. Again, you put four school friends together, who are now married and have kids and its a marathon of just talking, laughing and pulling each other'...

I've said it once and I'm going to say it again, Siliserh Lake Palace is an amazing destination. It features as one of our most recurring weekend road trip too. Whenever, we want to escape the city's bustle and unwind in a place without shelling out much money and too much driving, we hit the road and aim for this lakeside jaunt. It's on the way to Sariska Wild Reserve ( 14 km from Sariska) and an oasis of peace and tranquility. You can just about make out the tiny huts on the banks. Words fail to describe the barren beauty of the surrounding hills and the soothing calm of the pristine expansive lake. This man-made lake was constructed under the orders of Maharaja Vinay of Alwar. The palace on its banks could have been a resting place for the queen while the Maharaja was hunting with his men, or it was a palace for the Queen who came from the nearby village to stay after losing her child. The source history isn't very clear o me. Anyway, this palace has ...

- Really! That long? - Yes. - Wow, like a new-year-in-between long. - Yes. - Now that you made me think, I remember you did point it out, no? - Yes. - What's with the monosyllables? You have nothing else to say? - No. - Ugh! (After a few minutes) - So? - What? - Now that I made you 'think'. Will you start now? - Uh...huh. - At least a teeny little post.... - Surely. - On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being 'no hope at all', how sure are you? - If you would just shut it! This is a glimpse of the heated exchanges between me and the haloed me, that have been happening for a past couple of months now. I put the Pro in Procastinate .  To begin with, I'll typically put the blame on the smart phone. I mean how can one bypass a good game of Scrabble, reading @Story_Baba on Twitter, and then there's addictive scrolling on Quora. However, the real deal with me is my rediscovery of Bangla movies. I am not talking about the song and dance fare of  Dev ,  ...

I've said it once and I'm going to say it again... M makes me look like the epitome of patience. I picture myself with a halo these days, the supreme mother, smiling beatifically at her daughter who mistakes the titty for a teether sometimes. M is of the notion that 'it' needs a stretch test quite regularly. Having said that, now that she is 6 months old, she feeds quite actively and these nursing sessions are liberally interrupted with the most adorable things and actions. Breastfeeding can and will stop for any number of momentous things happening in the universe. What it all boils down to is that I will have to bear it all without the slightest movement, as long as she isn't done feeding.  In spite of everything, I just cant help but be amused at her antics. So, let me point out just some of the reasons for M to take a break from her feeding. I cleared my throat. I picked up my cellphone or it beeped or I tried to check my email, etc. Daddy walked in the ...

I was the stick insect in my school. Neighbours and relatives would keep on commenting that the poor kid seemingly got only leftovers at home. This ideal situation continued right until college. I know, lucky me! But I was too much of a nerd back then to put this into optimum usage.  It was only when I turned 18 and left my hometown, that my first local guardian in the city, a thoroughly delinquent young woman, made me aware of the fact. She also showed me the ropes of the friends-college-fun-party-boys network. At least, now I've got somewhat of an adventurous history that would need hiding from my daughter in future. Alas! the chemical reaction that changed it or let's say ruined it all was my marriage. I don't mean it in a bad way but my marriage was the definite marker if not the reason. So there I went, from a slim figure to a water buffalo. My metabolism all but died and that too a very silent death because I don't even remember hearing a sigh.         ...

I resigned. I called it quits from the best job, the best office, and the best work I was in. I'm sure there are more to come and will trump my life in T&F in more ways than one but I loved this one and I would always nurse a teeny bit of remorse about resigning. After a total of eight years of working of which five were spent in T&F, I'm now getting ready for a life at home. August 14 is going to be my last day at work, sniff! Five years of learning, mentoring, colleagues, and all the fun of office life. My biggest loss will be my awesome colleagues who have spilled out of that connotation and filled my life as dear, darling friends. I've had the craziest house parties with them, add to it evenings at the pub bitching about all and sundry. (That reminds me I could do a post on them each, that'd be so cool.) I will miss the office coffee, and the sweets and snacks deluge of every Indian holiday and non-holiday. I mean Diwali and Holi is routine but also...

I'm working from home again. The office allowed me a two-month remote working arrangement so that I could stay back and take care of my precious little gem. I'm in my bed working as M is sleeping peacefully next to me. I look at her in between my work and I start thinking that my two months are almost over and I will have to make a decision soon. I've been at home since November last year and my lifestyle has gone through a massive overhaul. Sometimes I'm raring to just get out, if nothing else than just take a metro ride to and from a coffee shop. But sometimes I'm content to loll around in my pajamas and averse to even take a stroll around the apartment complex.  No more dressing up, no eating out, no impulse shopping, no meetings or conference calls, no brainstorming or gossip with peers and subordinates but yes, a lot of good feelings, a lot of happiness, a lot of glow and a huge lot of power surge. It's amazing how I feel more confident these days and pow...